Sunday, June 4, 2017

Accepting Love

Joie de Vivre Tarot, Nature's Whispers Oracle Cards and AngloSaxon Runes

Over the past couple of days, my daily draws have been giving me readings about accepting love, something I have to admit that is a struggle for me. Although my father was great at being demonstrative and expressing his love, he wasn't home a lot as he was an airline pilot. My mother was not very good at showing her love, and she was the one that was home all of the time. The only way she knew to express love was to take us shopping for stuff or to make stuff for us. To this day, she can't say, "I love you" and the first hug I can remember getting from her was when I was forty-one and getting my third divorce from someone who was very controlling.

So, while I'm wonderful at giving and showing love to others, I struggle with accepting it from them. I actually broke up with a guy because of this back in my teens. We had a summer romance when we met at the time share that each of our families owned a week in, and in that week we fell madly in love with each other, and then we returned home. He wrote me love letters, and I just couldn't accept how he felt about me when he put it in writing. It made me very uncomfortable, so I broke things off with him.

As a healer, I give generously of my time and energy to others, but I struggle to allow it for myself. I have bought things rather than put that money towards a much-needed chiropractic treatment and massage, for example, because those would be giving myself the gift of loving care--kind of like giving myself a hug rather than stuff. It's also hard for me to allow time to sit in meditation rather than to be doing "something more constructive". 

I'm working on a reset of my emotional programming through Shadow Work and Inner Child Work, combining Tarot, self-coaching and Reiki. Again, allowing this to be a priority for my time has taken effort and discipline, but now that I'm doing it, I find it enjoyable. As I do this work, it gets easier to allow myself to love myself enough to keep healing, and I have less of an inner void to fill, thereby I have less of a need for stuff and am actually working to pare down what I have. It's also allowing me to make my continuing education a priority so that I'm able to focus more on my studies. So if you see me around less on social media, you know why--that was a way I distracted myself and kept myself from allowing self-love to flourish in my life so that my life can flourish even more. 

I encourage you to ask what you can do to allow more love to flow in your life. What can you heal and how can you do so? Seek and you shall find the answers. 😊 ❤️

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